Other Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Life With Benjamin

If You’re in the Photo, Then …

One of the questions I get asked a lot on Instagram is, “who’s taking the photo?” My standard response is, “sometimes my wife takes the photo and sometimes I shoot off a tripod.”

That statement really understates the struggle that I often go through to get a photo for Instagram! But I love photography and writing stories, so I push on!

Summer Vacation

My Instagram story began about 6 months before I posted my first photo. We had just come back from a trip to the Okanogan, British Columbia (6-hour car ride with adults, 9 hours with a baby).

We stayed with some friends in the Okanogan who happened to have a new DSLR camera. After they showed a few photos from their DSLR of Benjamin and us, I was hooked! I loved how deep and rich the photos looked with a DSLR camera compared to my phone camera.

When we returned home (11-hour car ride, because the highway was closed for an accident for 3 hours) I quickly found a DSLR camera on Kijiji and did what most people do when they get a DSLR, put the camera on AUTO and started snapping!

I Lost so many Friends

It didn’t take long before I alienated myself from everyone by constantly trying to show him or her photos of Benjamin. I couldn’t even catch people off guard because anyone that owns a DSLR knows that these cameras aren’t exactly stealth. When you walk in the door with a suitcase, backpack, and computer people instinctually know you are going to try to show them photos.

So I went searching for a larger audience. Enter Instagram, the largest photo sharing thingy out there.

Instagram to the Rescue

I knew that most of my friends that didn’t want to look at my photos of Benjamin were on Instagram. I also knew that Instagram would give me back the element of surprise. Sure a suitcase is hard to hide, but when my friends are scrolling through Instagram they are bound to see my photos of Benjamin!

So I signed up for Instagram and added all the same friends I had on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Google+ (just kidding, no one uses Google+).

Early Days of Instagram

My first photos were of Benjamin only or Benjamin and our cat. An easy one-liner as captions and done! These were very easy to shoot! He was barely walking and didn’t notice the camera. I would try to take photos with an interesting perspective or create depth to the photos by having a foreground and background subject. All the sorts of things I read about on photography blogs.

It wasn’t long after posting a few photos on Instagram, that I started reading about Instagram on blogs. You know, how to get better at Instagram type stuff. As a side note, if you currently enjoy Instagram as a fun app that lets you post pictures of your cat or food, I highly recommend you don’t read blog sites about Instagram strategies.

The Instagram Hustle

Seriously! Behind the fun pictures of cats and food, is a giant marketing machine filled with algorithms, conspiracies, hashtag strategies, page designing, follow loops, interaction pods … and on and on!

It doesn’t take long after reading the Instagram advice pages that you are researching hashtags, and designing your content to what your followers are responding to!

And what were the followers I had responding to? Not my interesting perspectives and foreground and background subjects. My followers responded to photos of Benjamin and I struggling with everyday issues. They also responded to that I was a stay at home dad and told a story in the caption about my struggles, as a stay at home dad.

So obviously people started wondering if I am in the photos with Benjamin and I am talking about being a stay at home dad, struggling to manage chores, naps, and grocery shopping, who’s taking the photos?

Tell me Already, Who is Taking the Photo?

Well, until a couple of months ago, it was easy to set up my tripod while Benjamin was doing something “toddlerish” and walk over to where he was, make a face that tries to capture the mood of what he is doing, and push the camera remote button. Done!

That was a couple of months ago. Now, when Benjamin sees the tripod come out, he runs over to it, slaps it, and laughs. Not exactly an ideal workflow. So I had to recruit my wife.

So when my wife is home and Benjamin is doing something of interest. I say, “quick! Get the camera and try to get a picture of Benjamin and I while he is putting our shoes in the toilet”. This helps! But I still miss many “toddlerish” behaviors.

I hope after all that, you get a better idea of, “who takes the photos?” and why I always say, “sometimes my wife and sometimes I shoot off a tripod”.

RETURN HOME

Always at the Park. Even this bumble bee knows us by first name.

So, What’s it like?

Have you ever wondered what it’s like being a stay at home dad? … if you’re already a stay at home Dad I guess you know what it’s like. However, since the majority of the people that follow me on Instagram are Moms, I’ll assume you’re a Mom … I’ll also assume you’re reading this to take pleasure in my daily Dad suffering …

Okay, enough guess who is reading this and why. What’s it like being a stay at home Dad? Well, to me being a stay at home Dad is a little bit like the TV Series “Last Man on Earth”, except, unlike the show, I really do feel like the only man on earth. (That show has like 30 men on it?)

Where Do They Go?

Every morning around 8 am, I see all the men of the world get into cars or buses. Some are walking or riding their bike but, regardless, they are all leaving to go somewhere.

All that is left is Moms and their babies, and Benny and me.

Everywhere I go; the park, the mall, SpaLady, Happy Nails, and Ikea, its all Moms. According to Stats Canada*, stay at home dads represent 1 out of 10 families where there is a stay at home parent.

If this is true, where are they?

Don’t get me wrong. I do see the odd Dad at the park. But they never want to chat about our Dad life problems. Moms, on the other hand, are much chattier. (Is that a word?)

My Throat Hurts from Talking

I never considered that, when I became a parent, people were going to talk to me more. I know that, in some cultures, people talk to one another at bus stops, grocery stores, etc. However, that is not the Canadian way. Canadians seem quite content standing in awkward silence. I bet a Canadian person right now has the cures for all the world’s diseases but is too scared to talk to anyone in case they might come across as a chatty weirdo…

Surprisingly, though, all the awkward Canadian silence vanishes when you have a baby. People break the ice by talking to your baby in the form of questions that can only be answered by the parent. As in, “How old are you, cutie?”

I jump in, “34, Thanks for asking!” Ok, not really, but most conversations do start with “How old is he?”

We all Feel the Same

When I start talking to another stay at home parent … mostly moms … I find the same thoughts, struggles, and problems are discussed. Is my baby getting enough sleep? Will I ever get a job in my field again? How many donuts can I eat in a day and still lose my baby weight?

When my wife went back to work and it was just Benjamin and me, I thought it was going to be weird to be a stay at home Dad. Honestly, it’s only weird if I let it be weird. Whenever I tell another parent that I’m a stay at home Dad, I always get a “Right-On!” Never once have I felt unwelcome at the mom dominated play groups or play centres.

It seems to me that, in the end, we’re all bonded by the same goal: raising a semi-normal human being… and that is something worth talking about, even for Canadians.

(If you happen to be a stay at home Dad, let me know if you feel any different!)

* http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/11-630-x/11-630-x2016007-eng.htm

Category: Other

Who Takes the Photos? My Instagram Story