Typical Outing for my Wife
I must admit that after watching my wife get ready for an outing with Benjamin I feel fortunate that getting ready as a dad is much easier. In most cases I am accepted into society looking slightly better than a homeless sock puppet.
Getting Ready as a Dad
When I wake up in the morning as a stay at home dad … not to an alarm, but to Benjamin … the first thought that runs through my mind is that catchy Beyonce song, “I woke up like this: Flawless”.
Actually, it isn’t.
Its more like “Will Benjamin lay in his crib contently while I sneak past his bedroom, down the rickety stairs, turn on the espresso machine, grind some fresh coffee beans, and froth some milk?” I know you’re probably thinking, “How do you have time for all that?” Well, I don’t but I am hanging onto this one last thing from my non-baby life!
I’m sure not every mom feels pressure to do their hair, apply their makeup, and shave their mustache, or maybe they do? What do I know about a woman? Makeup?
I am Accepted!
One thing is certain: when I leave the house in the morning, I don’t care if my makeup is a bit smudged. Under my hat, my hair is a complete mess. Under my loosely fitting shirt, I can relax my abdominal muscles and not pretend I’m posing for the cover of Men’s Health magazine all day.
I can also wear shorts in the summer and feel confident that no one will think twice about seeing my leg hair blowing in the wind as I play on the monkey bars with Benjamin (life as a stay at home dad) .
Old Thinking
However, in the interest of full disclosure, when I was working in corporate hell and would see a Mom return from maternity leave, I didn’t judge, but I had thoughts. Now before you hate me, I didn’t think, “Why don’t you do something with yourself?” My thoughts were more along the lines of “I wonder if that mom doesn’t care about her appearance or is it just that crazy to have kids?”
I also didn’t want to ask… Okay, maybe I am a terrible person.
I guess I just got used to the idea of ladies being “dressed up” in all public places. I don’t know where that idea came from. Let’s blame the all-encompassing “society” for that one. Hey, I don’t promote the double standards, but I guess they influence me.
New Thinking
Regardless, once I had Benjamin I understood what it takes to get out the door on time in the mornings. After so many mornings of having to choose between brushing my teeth or making it on time to an appointment, I can’t imagine the additional pressure of having to apply makeup.
On top of all that, I rarely have an appointment in the morning! I also don’t have to get Benjamin up, dress him, dress myself, feed both of us, drop him off at care, and make it to a job at a reasonable time. I know that, for many working parents, this is a daily reality. If I attempted all that in the morning, I’m not sure I would ever make it to work before 10 pm.
Micro-Seconds Count
Maybe that’s why women shave their legs? Just like swimmers, every microsecond counts. Perhaps, in order to achieve so much in such a short amount of time, they need the aerodynamic advantage of smooth legs!
Anyway, after all that, if you’re a new mom and you see me on a swing with Benjamin, feel free to sit in the swing next to me and know that you’ll have a parenting ally. No judgment! All respect!
Also, don’t worry at all about your appearance. Chances are, I didn’t shave my legs for this either.